


I wasn't Bready

by StrawhatsAndDelibirds



Category: One Piece
Genre: Sex Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 07:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawhatsAndDelibirds/pseuds/StrawhatsAndDelibirds
Summary: You never know who's gonna make a sex joke, especially since its someone that probably doesn't know a lot about sex.





	

It was one of those days were everyone was hanging out on deck, and Sanji was also feeling generous. So not only had he brought food for the girls, but he also brought out food for the guys. He was even nice enough to grab them drinks too! Sanji was really in a good mood. Except that the guys all had to go get their stuff and the girls got their stuff brought to them. He didn’t mind, because that’s what rubber arms were for: eating food and getting drinks without having to go over there.

Their food was the same as the girls too, but theirs was a lot more decorated and presented better. The guys didn’t have to deal with dumb stuff like garnish that wasn’t even real food. It was just something that got in the way of the food when you were eating, and he was sure that it was only there to slow you down. He was glad that his plate didn’t waste any space with any of that stupid stuff.

He could remember Sanji telling him that this was the reason why their plates were always so poorly presented, because he had no standards for presentation, but none of the guys ever complained that it wasn’t nice looking. It was kinda stupid because it was like Sanji didn’t even know that it doesn’t matter what the food looks like if it tastes really good.

And even by Sanji’s food (that wasn’t meat) standards, these were really good. He couldn’t tell you what it was about these bread sticks that were really tasty, but he could tell you that they really were good, especially for bread that he was pretty sure was just bread. But his was Sanji, and he could make anything taste good. He could make salad (that was basically just leaves) taste like an actual food and not even have to put bacon in it or anything. He was like a food wizard and it was great.

The only downside was, that he did put a limit to how many snacks were given out between meals. That was just unfair, because Sanji’s food always tasted like more, but that was never something with snacks. The only hope that he could hold onto was that a meal was usually close behind, cause he only gave out snacks when he was dying of hunger because meals were really far apart.

But he figured that since Sanji had done something nice, so would he. It felt as good a time to use (most) of his manners, and thank him.

“Thanks Sanji!” He grinned, spraying food as he spoke. He accidentally ended up getting it on the project that Usopp and Franky had been working on. That sucked because it was food that wasn’t going to get to go into his stomach, and that was just a little disappointing. Usopp found it disappointing for a different reason.

“Luffy! Don’t talk with your mouth full like that! You’re getting crumbs everywhere!” Usopp scolded, brushing off the bread stick dust from the wood.

He was about to apologize, but then something else came to his head. It was a naughty thing, and he knew it was bad. To the best of his ability, considering his mouth was completely full of bread at this point, to smile a wicked smile. The others sent him a look, because they knew he was up to something, because they knew him well enough to know that he was a known trouble maker, even to his dearest friends. There was no way for them to know what he was planning, though. And there was no way for them to be ready.

He had to pick the moment perfectly, and waited until Zoro was taking a drink of his sake.

“Hey Zoro, I’m crumbing.” He was so proud of himself, because in that moment so many things had happened all at once.

Not only had he managed to surprise everyone with that, but he had managed to surprise everyone, including Robin. He knew that he usually had a reputation for not getting these kinds of jokes, but he did. He thought Robin knew everything, but to catch her off guard. That was almost as great as the reaction he was waiting for.

Nami had fallen out of her chair with a shriek she was so unprepared. Sanji had dropped his tray and was trying to decide between being horrified, or laughing as hard as the most of guys were. Brook and Franky looked the most proud they have ever looked, knowing that this was mostly their handy work. Usopp had his face in his hands, because he knows what he did, and he knows that he was the one responsible for him ever thinking of the joke, and there was no going back now and they all had to deal with his sins now. He knew that Chopper got it, because that laugh was different from the laugh that he did when he wasn’t sure. Luffy knew it all too well because that’s what he did too when someone told a joke he didn’t get and that he wanted to be included in on it. He wouldn’t squeal on him though. It’d be their secret.

But by far the best reaction to his joke was Zoro’s. It was everything that he was trying to do and more. Just like none of them were ready for his joke, he wasn’t ready for what Zoro did. No other joke ever would be as good as this one, because no other joke would be able to compare reactions to anything like the one his joke had gotten from Zoro.

Because he had gotten exactly what he had wanted. He had gotten him to spray his drink everywhere as he laughed. But that’s not where it stopped. It got so much better. He was caught so off guard that he was laughing as hard as everyone. If not harder because it was directed at him.

He was laughing so hard, that he had managed to get sake to come shooting out of his nose. He had only ever seen something like that with Ace when they were little, and he ended up shooting milk through his nose. But sake was so much funnier, because as much as milk hurt, sake had to be a million times worse. And because it was Zoro, he was going to be fine, so that made everyone laugh harder, and not just him.

No one could handle the joke. Even Usopp who was just disappointed in himself for starting this mess was laughing. There was just no preparing for something as good as sake coming shooting out of someone’s nose like that. It was just like when Sanji saw a really pretty girl for the first time and she talked to him. He was actually shocked that he ended up curling into the pain, and not getting launched backwards by it and shot into the sea.

Though as much as he wanted to say that this was where the joke ended, it didn’t. He was already laughing so hard that he thought he was going to die, that he didn’t expect what was going to happen next. He was positive that Zoro was going to be quiet for the next ever because his everything hurt from him shooting alcohol from his nose like that, but he was not. Zoro was stronger than any pain, and he was a fool to think otherwise.

The laughter had died down. The ship had settled down into silence as they all recovered from the laugh that they all just had then. They all needed to recover and catch their breaths after that one, or they just might laugh themselves to death.

And then after a coughing fit, Zoro had to remind them that there was a reason why he was known as the pirate hunter for so long, and showed them just how good he was as a bounty hunter with just three words that they couldn’t have expected, and that actually destroyed them all.

It was a good thing that everyone was quiet to recover, because if they hadn’t, they would’ve missed it completely. They were quiet and weak, because Zoro was recovering from the amazingness that was him shooting so sake out of his nose. But none the less they were said, and it sent them right back to they were once they were said.

“I wasn’t bready.”


End file.
